“Oh hello sir. Good to have you back with us. Yes, you’ve been in a coma for the best part of a year now.
“Before you pull out those wires, sir, there are some things you ought to know. No, not quite a zombie apocalypse, but an ill wind blowing across our planet. The symptoms: suspicion, fear, intolerance, bigotry, to name but a few. Humans appear to be losing their humanity.
“The UK is leaving the EU, Boris is in charge of foreign affairs and Nigel Farage looks set to become ambassador to the US and its new president. Yes, that’s right, we have a new leader of the free world: an orange-faced ex-reality show host with no experience and ludicrous hair, who thinks Mexicans are rapists, Muslims are terrorists, groping women is a God-given right and global warming, a myth. But it’s OK because Putin thinks he’s a good guy.
“We’ve lost plenty of those too. David Bowie is dead, as is Prince, and just yesterday, Leonard Cohen joined them. Gene Wilder, Alan Rickman, Terry Wogan, Muhammad Ali, Ronnie Corbett, Victoria Wood, they’re all gone too. I could go on…
“Oh and Bake Off is no more.
“What’s that sir? You want me to ask the doctor to put you back under? I thought you might.”
White chocolate, raspberry and amaretti trifle
Alternatively, you could make yourself a huge vat of my mother-in-law’s incredibly decadent trifle and dive in head first. I could think of worse ways to go…
Makes 4 generous individual portions
- 500g bag frozen raspberries
- 40g caster sugar plus 1/2 tsp extra
- 85g amaretti biscuits
- 4 tbsp amaretto or orange juice
- 150ml double cream
- 70g good quality white chocolate
- 170g shop bought fresh vanilla custard (remove from fridge 20 mins before using)
- 170g crème fraiche
- Toasted flaked or sliced almonds, or shaved white chocolate to garnish
- Put the raspberries in a pan with the sugar and heat gently for about five mins until the sugar has dissolved and the berries have thawed. Drain mixture through a sieve, returning juices to the pan and bring to the boil; simmer for about 10 mins or until reduced to about 50ml then mix with raspberries and leave to cool.
- Lightly crumble biscuits into the bottom of four 300ml tumblers and spoon 1 tbsp amaretto or orange juice over each, then divide the cooled berries between them.
- Whip the cream into soft peaks and place half in the fridge leaving the remainder at room temperature. Put the chocolate in a bowl over a pan of barely simmering water and stir until melted. Pour into a cold bowl and gradually fold in the custard, then fold in the room temperature cream. Doing it in this order stops the chocolate separating.
- Beat the crème fraiche until smooth then fold in the reserved cream and ½ tsp caster sugar. Spoon a layer of the custard mixture into each glass, then top with a layer of the cream. Sprinkle over toasted flaked almonds or shaved white chocolate to garnish. Chill for at least two hours before serving.
Trifle trumps hate.