I wasn’t planning to post today but I’m cross. I have a spleen to vent. So here I am, but watch out, it might get messy.
It all started when I saw a picture on Instagram from the rather lovely Rachel Khoo for her beef short ribs. Check them out (@rachelkhooks. I would provide a link but don’t know how, but it was about three days ago). All burnished and glistening, these ribs screamed EAT ME NOW. I’m having me some of those, I thought as I trotted off to the butchers.
£30 (yes that’s THIRTY FUCKING POUNDS) later and lighter (because cuts that were previously reserved for dog food have become so fashionable you need to square it with your bank manager before you visit the butchers) my three kilos of short ribs were ready for their 24 hour marinade. All good so far.
I thought the ribs would be perfect Friday night fare, eaten shredded in a wrap with coleslaw (coldsore? – 9yo) in front of a family movie, so at 7am this morning into the oven they went. And four and a half hours later, ta da….
Look great don’t they? Don’t be deceived. I’ve just tried some and it was RANK. The meat, once I got to it, having spent the last hour trying to separate it from the insane amount of fat and sinew that’s as thick and rubbery as a postman’s elastic band, is stringy, tasteless and quite the opposite of that melt-in-your mouth thing you get when you have cooked something for FOUR AND A HALF HOURS. After all the necessary dissecting, that 3kg has been whittled down to just under 1kg of edible meat (I threw away 1.2kg of fat, sinew and bones, the rest must have just, I dunno, evaporated). That makes it the same price as fillet steak, fuck’s sake.
I don’t even like the marinade that much (sorry Rachel) – way too tomatoey, no discernible spice. In my view a rib marinade should be either Texan (all sticky barbecue and smoke) or Asian (hot, sweet, sour, salty). This was just a bit meh.
What’s more, the cooking of it has completely fucked my favourite roasting tin, despite having lined it with greaseproof. Rather than protecting the tin, the paper is now firmly welded onto the tin with the burnt marinade. I’m considering tossing this in the bin too.
So, there you go, no recipe today to accompany my rant, just the following words of advice:
- Never be taken in by a pretty picture.
- Always use a disposable tin foil tray to cook anything with a sticky marinade – not very eco I know, but I’ve seen Nigella do this, so if it’s alright by her…
- If you are going to cook ribs, do stick with pork. Much cheaper, tastier and reliable. I promise to post a recipe here for some jolly nice pork ribs soon, once I have calmed down enough to go back in my kitchen.
As for tonight’s supper, I rather suspect we will be getting a takeaway. Good weekend all.